Love and intimacy – our ability to connect with ourselves and others, is at the root of what makes us sick and what makes us well, what causes sadness and what brings happiness, what makes us suffer and what leads to healing.
Are Your Relationships Hurting Your Health?
As I was leaving my Saturday yoga class, a young woman approached me and said, “I don’t know if you remember me, but my husband and I saw you for couples counseling about seven years ago, and I’m embarrassed because I know we were so angry with each other that we were difficult to work with. But, you helped us stay together, and now we have three young daughters and we’re very happy.”
Of course, I was thrilled to hear that they had stayed together and were doing so well, and it made me think I wanted to write a blog this week to share some of the healthy relationship tools I use myself and share with others.
If I were asked what are the top three skills needed to create and maintain a healthy loving relationship, one of them would be good communication skills. Clear, open, and honest communication is important to build good relationships (and to enjoy optimal health). To feel understood and to understand others creates healthy bonds between people. Conversely, lack of communication, or poor communication, fails to build this bond, and, even worse, can create mistrust, discomfort, or simply a sense of disconnect (all proven to lower the immune response as well).
What is Communication?
We communicate in different ways:
- The way we speak – tone of voice (non-verbal) or clarity
- Gestures (non-verbal)
- Body language (non-verbal)
- Facial expressions (non-verbal)
Surprisingly, non-verbal communication accounts for 90% of the impact of our communication. It is more powerful even than our words. Begin to notice your non-verbal style of communicating and remember how powerful it is.